REAL TALK: Here Are 14 Signs That You Are A Toxic Person

Ever wondered why people don't stay around you for long? even that best-est of friends chooses not to hang around you so much or if you do, you always have a feud or two? Why every partner is living and the only common denominator with all the broken relationships is you?



We think its time to reflect!

Being a toxic person is not always planned for, some people don't even know that they drive people mad and it is not your fault. We have all gone through some things in our lives that mark who we are. Sometimes they turn us into good and sometimes well, not so liked.
Either ways, being a toxic person is never good for anyone especially for yourself, you don't have to like being liked but it is nice to be liked and have people around you, you never know what tomorrow holds so having people that can hold you up is not so bad.

There are many ways to know you are toxic or you have a toxic person around you or influencing you, here are but a few signs of how to tell:

1. You Are Judgy!

Either you always have to judge what people say or you always feel judged by that one person when you say something. This is one of the key characters of a toxic person, sometimes we don't even know when we are being judged but here is one way to tell. You always have to explain and defend your point or yourself or people have to do this around you and at the end of the day it always comes back to this statement "this is why i didn't want to tell you"
You will defend yourself by saying you are giving your opinion when truth is you are just a little bit too negative, no one likes negativity. Take a step back and see.

2. You Always Have To Give A Comment

Sometimes, even if you know some things, it's better to stay silent to give a moment to others. You don't always have to give your opinion. You don't have to prove a point about the topic on the table because you have experienced it too or just don't believe. You can raise a topic up but you don't have to create an argument out of it.

3. You Roll Your Eyes, Make Faces And Raise Your Eyebrows

This is kind of the worst because it is more like a reflex, you will just quickly do it the moment someone tells you their good news or their bad news that you think you could have done better in the situation. Stop it! when you are caught in between the faces, the trust never goes back the same.

4. You Have A lot Of New Faces In Your Life

Having a new friend or partner is never bad, besides, it helps you grow as a person but, do you keep in touch with every face or at least most of them? or do you have to block, unfriend and delete? or keep their contact just so you can snoop? yes.. this brings us to another point.

5. You Snoop Too Much

It is as important as eating for you to know what is going on in someone's life. To hate on them right after. You just need to know so you can calm your ego, though you may do it with social media, people always know when you over snoop.
You don't respect boundaries, you would take their phone when they are not looking to read texts and get involved in their life. This is not a good look.

6. You Make Excuses

You always have a better thing to do than to help or than to show up. "My grandma is sick I need to go care for her", "my house has a broken door i have to fix". They may be real excuses but do you make up for the lost times? Eventually people stop asking, they move on! it's important to know that the world won't wait for you to decide when you want to come out and play. If you act like you are pushing people away, eventually they will believe you and walk away. Don't get jealous when you see them hang with other people because those people showed up for them more than you did.
It's good to remember sometimes, people want to meet you not because they have nothing better to do or because they just want to go out and party, sometimes, they need you and you canceling on them only cancels you out.

7. You Are Always Right/ Always The Victim

In your story, the world is never fare to you! you are always the victim. Something went wrong, it is never your fault. You don't take any responsibility on what went wrong, you would rather blame, cry, swear and complain than admit something was your task. You never take responsibility and always want to be spoon fed, you want things done for you. No one "must" do things for you, so if you want to always be right, always do your part and don't complain

8. You Use Too Much Energy Just To Play Victim

Ever felt you have the need to explain to everyone why they should hate the same people you are hating on? You spend hours playing victim and intoxicating someone else's name because hearing other people talk smack about them too is therapeutic to you.
They left me, she cursed me, your stories always starts with someone else and never you. Part of what makes you toxic is spreading words be it truthful, lies or a little bit of extra of the two combined, you don't really think nor care about how the other person appears or how it affects them. You don't think who is listening so long as you achieve your goal, make that other person hated. Why is it so important for you to make them look bad? Only you will end up looking bad because eventually everyone will see your true colors.
Remember that half of the people you talk to are your friends, coworkers, parents or even siblings they will always have your side, but does having the most supporters for hating on someone make you right?

9. Holding A Grudge Is More Important Than Apologizing And Forgiveness

You always go back to that argument over eggs, because you would rather stuff yourself up than let things go, you aren't the one always in the wrong but you won''t confront the other person that they hurt you, you would rather let it sink, hold a grudge and let it build. Newsflash girls and boys, THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOU TOXIC

10. You Criticize The Little Things

Commenting on the little flaws make you feel good about yourself, you just can't resist. You would have the same hairstyle as your best friend but you would tell her that hers is wrongly done. It makes you feel good about yourself when you spot these little flaws.

11. You Smack Talk And Befriend

You talk so bad about one person then make her your friend. That is hypocrisy 101 and eventually people will start seeing that, it is never a pretty color on anyone.

12. You Show Up To Complain Then Keep Secrets

So now you have too much bottling up, it's time to find that friend that always gives you an ear. You call them just to go and complain about what is happening in your life, with very little interest of what is happening in theirs and after you have put it all out of your chest, you don't care to explain to them what happened next if they asked you how did you end up with the situation. You would either speak briefly about it or say you don't feel like talking about it like it wasn't as important.

13. You Like To Compete/ You Are Jealous

You love looking like you know more and better, if your friend was into volleyball you want to mimic that and act like you are better and you taught them. Why is it so hard for you to let someone else have the attention in the room? You always have to top that and you are constantly in compete mode because you can't stand not sharing the glory. Perhaps it's time to reevaluate yourself, you could be just jealous


14. You Think Because You Have A New Thing Going On It Okay To Cut People Off

So you have a new neighbor you plan to bff the heck out of, or you found a new boo and these people make you feel nice about yourself because they do not really know you and so they won't challenge you to telling you what they think about you. Now you think you are better off without them, forgetting how many times they actually showed up for you despite all the excuses you gave them to not show up for them, question is, will your new company stick around for that long? In other words you tend to forget your crowd when new people show up in your life.
Don't throw away a small piece of gold in the hopes to pick up a bigger one.

Being toxic is not a planned and intended thing at least most of the time it isn't but look at it as an opportunity to do better, everyone is toxic in their own way, not everyone will score all 13 points but that doesn't make you any better. We all must be gentle and care for other people's feelings but most of all, everyone needs someone, learn to tell who are real and who are fakes and who aren't going to stick around for as long as you think they would. If you are the reason why they choose to walk away then find a way to fix it, if you are the one walking away after trying to consult this friend then trust that you are taking care of yourself. 

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